Where you can look at her butt,
And her trap stays shut."
-- Al Bundy, "Married
few years ago, I went to a couple strip clubs with my now-ex-boyfriend.
We hit a few different area clubs that night. I went with
my ex, one of his co-workers/friends, and that guy's bisexual
girlfriend. Of all of us, I think she had the best time.
It was nothing
like what you see on TV, with salivating men hooting and hollaring at the girls.
No Al Bundy types dancing on stage with a dollar on a string. Most of the guys
seemed more interested in playing pool (with other guys), watching sports on
tv, or just sitting at the bar staring at their drinks. The women... were not
exactly what I was picturing, either. Most of them were just average looking,
with average bodies. (Of course, I live in a small town about 1.5 hours from
NYC. I imagine the really good-looking girls move to the big city where they
can make good money.) Up close in particular, they sure didn't give me any inferiority
complexes. I'm talkin' about sagging (but not terribly large) boobs, stretch
marks, cellulite... the whole nine yards.
After dancing on
stage, they'd come around to the tables and do a little "private" dance. No
lapdancing. No touching. And they'd talk to us. Most of them were single moms
who could make more money working two nights a week than they could working
full time, and this lets them have more time to spend with their kids. A few
were working their way through college. One or two were married and just really
liked what they did for a living. They were the only ones who were actually
good dancers, too. None of them flirted with the guys, but some flirted with
me and the other girl. A few complained about how much their backs hurt. Oooh,
The funniest part
of the evening is when they dancers asked me if I were there to audition. When
I declined, one offered to lend me her shoes: six inch platform stilletos. Uhhh...
No thanks. Really. It's not the lack of proper footwear that's holding me back.
But, all in all,
it was a good experience for me. I got to see that it's nothing spectacular
and nothing to be afraid of. The women aren't interested in stealing anyone's
husband or boyfriend. In fact, they're probably more interested in other women.
If there's any women out there who are worried about their husbands or boyfriends
going to nudie bars with their friends, stop. As long as you know and trust
your husband (and I imagine you wouldn't have married him if you didn't), you
have nothing to be afraid of.