The Boom, Part
April 25, 2002
Well, now. That's
kind of disturbing.
I've been checking
the traffic reports for this site, and there's an overwhelming number of people
who found the site by searching for "pimped out cars," "low rider
models," and other key words found in my rant griping about those idiot
kids and their booming stereos and cars that look like they have shopping
car handles on the back.
I also got a couple
entries in my guestbook by a poor misguided soul who thought it necessary to
call me "fucking gay" and brag that he spent over $45,000 pimping
out his car. It was a Honda or a Nissan. Can't really remember which, but it's
not like it matters.
But how sad is
that? To spend that much money on some POS car? I doubt anyone as mentally challenged
as that dork actually had 45K to spend, unless he cleared out his parents' retirement
fund, but just for the helluvit, let's assume it's trure. Shit. Give me that
much cash and I'm going to be cruising around in a BMW Z-3, and use the other
$10,000 to go on one helluva tropical vacation. Fuck the beemer. I'd sooner
buy one brand new Jeep Wrangler, and have a $25,000 left over for a down payment
on a new house.
I certainly wouldn't
spend that much to be the laughing stock of the neighborhood.
And I certainly
wouldn't spend it on something that depreciated in value instantly. Take one
$15,000 car, add $10,000 worth of ground effects and sound equipment to it,
and what do you have when you go to sell it? A $7,500 car, if you're lucky.
From an economical standpoint, it's one of the worst possible investment you
could make, right after Enron stock.
But what really
gets me is that this slimy little weasel with his fucked up priorities had the
nerve to be mad at ME for stating my opinion that he is a slimy little weasel
with fucked up priorities. And a small penis.
If anything, I
should be the one who's pissed at him and his sort for being such assholes in
the first place. Hey, spend all the money you want on your little rice-burner.
It doesn't bother me one bit if you want to throw money out the window. Just
don't blast your fucking stereos so loud that I can't even hear my own obnoxiously
loud stereo in my own home.
Ok. So I am pissed.
But I don't search out their pimpin' message boards or the guestbooks on their
pimpin' sites to flame them for being asses. I suppress my desire to scratch
"YOU SUCK ASS!" on their cars with my keys when I see them in a parking
lot. I just point, giggle, and make a funny little snorking sound when I laugh
at you, but I doubt you could see that through your tinted windows, and I know
you couldn't hear it above your stereo. Bah, you couldn't hear an AK-47 over
And also, I do
my bitching and ranting on my own site, that I pay for, with my own money. Want
your opinion heard? Start your own goddamn website. Oh, you don't have the money?
Pity you spent so much on your car.
The Boom, Part Three